Thought I should start by introducing myself. I'm Nikki and I plan to share with you the things that drive me mad in day to day life. Feel free to grammar Nazi me, I don't care terrible grammar angers me too.

 
Tech Support
You expect that having spent an hour using the resources of the internet and facebook that tech support could give you a new idea. So here's a list of tech support comments that have frustrated me, I'm sure you can relate, they aren't direct quotes; some are paraphrased.

• "Have you tried turning it off and back on again?" (a classic)
• It wont turn on.."Take the battery out and put it back in" (in reference to a Nokia Lumia, so no, no I cant, not if I want the warranty I'm trying to claim on) 
• "Your batteries expanded...could you have left it in a particularly cold place, like the fridge? " (same device and the previous issue when it got worse...yes obviously the fridge is where I like to keep my phone)
• on returning my phone for repair for faulty battery the accompanying letter read: "We did a software update on your phone, its a wonder what a software update can do." (Pardon my ignorance but I didn't realise a now leaking battery could be fixed by a software update, silly me)
• wifi adapter in laptop not working properly "Turn it off, take the battery out, then turn it on, then put the battery back in"(apparently this is a flee power reboot and reduces static but I still don't get how my laptop is going to turn on without a battery)